my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Friday, May 27, 2005
better now, but still unable to churn out coherent entries. went to the doc jes now and had a nice talk with doctor lau. kinda sad that i gave up my dream about medicine, but it was a tad idealistic and ain't gonna happen anyway. my mom would never allow it too. i'm sucha mama's girl eh.
feel like going to buy some hollister now but yeah i'm sick but not dying. drank shiteloads of water and the number of times i went to pee was probably more than what my dog peed the for whole day-which is, trust me, a lot.
that means i gotta put my gorging on hold. all my beautiful junkies on counter looking on innocently, enticing me with that burst of colour from the bloody nice wrapping. GAAAAAAAAAAAH. and i jes bought three packs of chips yesterday! *^%$!#@&)_!*!@
bible study later, and chickee's coming! ha ha i miss making fun of him and his silly voice. speaking of voice, my vocal chords are currently inflamed [but i haven't lost my voice! -HUGE SMIRK DIRECTED AT CHINGY CHING CHING] and so that means i have to play the keyboard at practice tonight. but uncle johnny's back, and that leaves me jobless. so should i go or not.
bah i'm feeling drowsy. it's all the medicine's fault. what a perfect excuse for slacking.
written with ♥ at
8:28 PM;